On the Road Again

JAKE AND KATHRYN GOT MARRIED ON DECEMBER 23, 2003!!! YAY!!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS!!

Jake and I made the 3-hour-each-way drive from college in Austin to home in Dallas many, many times in the course of our three years on domestic happiness in college. We had to do SOMETHING to keep ourselves amused. These worked for us.

Gladiator Names

Denny's L'Amour our musical!

Dirty Ice Cream Flavors

• Pez
• Exxon
• Texaco

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The scariest thing about the fact that we did this is that at practically the same time, hundreds of miles away, Beth Lisick and her friends were writing their own Denny's- based musical. She chronicles this in her book, Monkey Girl. Between the fact that she did this too and the name of her book, I have a feeling that Beth and I were separated at birth.

Plot:
This is a Romeo and Juliet type plotline wherein a jock falls in love with a hippie chick. It opens with the show's theme song, The Menu Song, sung by the scrappy and wise waitress Nina. The leads' beautiful love song (Moon Over My Hammy) is interrupted by a disgruntled Elvis impersonator who enters though the exit door and takes the hippy chick hostage. He explains the cause for his grief in the soulful I Never Got My Denver Omelet. Nina calms him down with a soothing version of The Menu Song (Reprise) and a free Denver Omelet. The frat boy and hippie chick kiss and everyone joins in for the finale, There's Always Another Denny's (Down the Road).

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Jason and Kate's 69 Flavors of nICE (to) CREEM [yes I know there are actually 78 of these]
Baskin- Robbins? Hagen-Daaz? Vas deferens anyway!
Try Jake and Kate's 69 flavors...
because good taste is HARD to find.

1. Cinnamon Cervix
2. Pussy 'n' Peach
3. Cunnilingus Crunch
4. Peppermint Prick
5. Cookies 'n' Cum
6. Labia Lemon
7. Orange Ovary
8. Hymen and Nut Surprise
9. French Foreskin
10. Strawberry Shaft
11. Spurtmoni
12. Poon Praline
13. Smegma Surprise
14. Cherry Pop
15. Blueberry Blowjob
16. Clit Chip
17. Vaginal Vanilla
18. Crusty Crack
19. Estrous Eggnog*
20. Coffee Cock
21. Marshmallow Muff
22. 2 Berry Breast
23. Grape Groin
24. Orgasmic Cherry
25. Toffee 'n' Twat
26. Butterfinger BuFu
27. Honey Hymen
28. Heath Head
29. Pistachio Penis
30. Rimming Royale
31. Lesbian Lime
32. Head Lick
33. Schocolate Schlange**
34. Homosexual Heath
35. Peanut Butter Bisexual
36. Monthly Mint
37. Yodel Yogurt
38. Celibate Sorbet***
39. Virgin Vanilla***
40. Pubic Popsicle
41. Sado-Marachino Cherry****
42. Felatio Flan
43. Consummate Custard
44. Pecan Nipple
45. Apricot Appendage
46. Hazelnut Hard-On
47. c-LIME-ax
48. Macadamia Mount
49. Toungerine
50. Walnut Woody
51. Swank Swirl
52. Dickquiri Ice
53. Pineapple Pud
54. Marshmallow Mattress
55. Shaft Sorbet
56. Whipped Wanger
57. Ginger Grind
58. Blueball
59. Onan's Orange
60. Jerkoff Jubilee
61. Anal Apple
62. Neopolitestes
63. Banana
64. Trojan Treat
65. Double-Dutch Dildo
66. Buttersnatch
67. Necrophilinut****
68. Bestial Berry*
69. PUMPkin
70. French Vagina
71. Vagina Bean
72. Butter Rum Rod
73. Penis Colada
74. Pisnatchio
75. Mango Member
76. Carnal Crunch
77. Almondisiac
78. Frottermelon

* yer dog'll love it too!
** imported from Germany!
*** low-cal
**** for the fetishist

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